only because i think i'm good 2

"Untitled"
ideas and thoughts lost to the
fortuitousness of the computer:
explosive, in the wrong sense.

still not over you
still not over you
still not over you
you're over me.

can't accept can't realize
don't want to accept or realize
help me.

a lonely life
with a lonely middle
and an even lonelier start.
you're not helping.



"Tonight Right Now"
it's so late and i'm still up
with activity scheduled to take place in several hours.
my mind frequently wanders to you
and what you're not doing:
thinking of me.

"never never never never never" i repeat
to myself to remember that it's over
although it wasn't necessarily fun while it lasted.

my medicine is out and i don't know what to expect.
i hope to see the rest of the quarter through
with a steady head and sturdy feet.
and a brain filled with thoughts of you.

"Untitled 2"
i'm a drunkard and i'm crazy
i'm haphazardous and dizzy.
free of medicine in the brain
and swinging on the mood swings
the medicine gives
and even though it's gone,
it still gives.

"a roller coaster of emotions"
is what i tell myself.
after the dizzy spell
after the arbitrary feeling of complete happiness.
soon, i'm back to baseline:
unorthodox and depressed
because you're still here
and i'm still there
and we never were.


"Practice"
fingers sore from the strings of the guitar
i practiced for me and for her
but mostly for you.
hope you're impressed because this was
dedicated for guess who.


"Us"
i see the hurt in the young girl's eyes.
is it sad that i know how she's feeling?
exactly what she's feeling
at least she had something

is it sad that we feel the same?
her with a year,
me with nothing more but a hope
and a sliver of nonsense.